> Headaches, muscle tension, neck or back pain
> Upset stomach
> Dry mouth
> Chest pains, rapid heartbeat
> Difficulty falling or staying asleep
> Fatigue
> Loss of appetite or overeating “comfort foods”
> Increased frequency of colds
> Lack of concentration or focus
> Memory problems or forgetfulness
> Jitters
> Irritability
> Short temper
> Anxiety
If you’re experiencing a number of these symptoms on a regular basis, you’ll need to address your stress level and consider what you might do to reduce your stress or at least be able to deal with it more effectively.
Small lifestyle changes, such as staying away from caffeine and making sure you get some exercise each day, can go a long way toward improving your mood and helping you to feel less stressed out and more able to enjoy life.
Remember that a major reason that teens are so susceptible to stress is that they lack control over many aspects of their lives. Most teenagers don’t get to choose where they live or go to school; those things have been determined for you by your parents and their life circumstances. Your parents probably set rules that you’re expected to follow, even if you don’t agree with them. You might feel boxed in by all your activities, or because you’re forced to give up your free time to help care for younger brothers and sisters. Maybe you don’t have as much money as some of your friends, or your parents can’t afford to buy you the brands of clothing that you’d like. All of these circumstances are pretty much out of your control, and that can become a source of stress in itself, or intensify the effects of other sources of stress in your life.
Taking time to stand back, assess your lifestyle and make even small, positive changes will not only result in an improved sense of well-being, but also can help you to feel that you’re more in control of your life. That’s empowering, and it can go a long way toward reducing your stress level.
Lifestyle changes involve adding positive, healthy behaviors, and eliminating unhealthy behaviors. It’s making sure, for example, that you get some exercise every day and that you don’t dive into the Ben and Jerry’s whenever you feel your stress level rising.
There are three levels of stress response: the thoughts you have when you experience stress, the feelings or emotions that arise from those thoughts, and the behaviors or responses that result. The most obvious of those three levels are the behaviors, which can be either positive or negative. Of those three levels of stress response, only the behaviors are observable. If you respond to stress by kicking the trash can, people around you see that. They can’t see the stress that caused you to respond with thoughts that made you feel really angry and frustrated—they only see you kick the trash can. If you’re looking to reduce or better deal with your stress by making some lifestyle changes, your first step should be to make an assessment of the thoughts and emotions you experience when you experience stress, and the behaviors that you exhibit in response.
Take a little time to think about how you react when you encounter a stressful situation. What thoughts typically come to your mind? What emotions follow those thoughts? Do you feel angry, sad, or frustrated? And, what behaviors do you exhibit in response to those thoughts and emotions? Hopefully, you’re not reacting to stress in unhealthy or inappropriate ways, and, if you are, you’ll make the decision to ask someone for some help.
Raising your awareness of how you respond and react to stress can help you to assess your emotions and behaviors, which is an important tool if you’re going to attempt to change behaviors to help you better deal with stress.
A good idea is to write down the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors you experience when confronted with a stressful situation. If you can get into the habit of doing this, you may begin to notice some patterns. For instance, you might notice that, on the days that you have to rush home from school because your mom goes to work and you have to baby-sit your little brothers and sister, you feel overwhelmed, anxious, and frustrated. And, that those emotions often lead you to stuff yourself with cookies and soda and whatever else you can find to eat. Being aware of your reactions to stress and the behaviors that result is the first step in getting ready to make positive changes in order to better deal with stressful situations.
Alicia is no stranger to stressful situations. Her brother Josh, who’s two years old than she is, has had tons of problems and has been in trouble for about four years now—starting when Alicia was in the sixth grade. Beset by problems with drugs and alcohol, her brother has been arrested, put into rehab, run away from home, and even sent off to one of those wilderness programs for kids who get into trouble.
Nothing seems to help, though, and, as you can imagine, Josh’s troubles are a constant source of worry and anxiety for Alicia and her parents. It seems that when her parents aren’t yelling at Josh, her mom is crying or they’re fighting about how to handle the latest crisis. Alicia pretty much stays in the background and tries to keep out of the way, but the truth is, she’s got plenty of problems of her own.
Often, when confronted yet again with a stressful situation, Alicia will get thoughts like “This is just way too much for me to handle” or “It’s so unfair that my life is like this all the time.” Along with those thoughts, she experiences feelings of being sad, overwhelmed, depressed, frustrated, and angry. When the situation gets really bad, and Alicia feels that she can’t stand one more minute of the turmoil around her, she has a secret weapon that she uses to make herself feel better—she cuts herself.
Cutting is the act of intentionally scratching or cutting the skin in order to hurt yourself, and it’s a type of self-injury that can be extremely harmful and dangerous. While it can bring some relief to someone who’s depressed, anxious, or under great stress, the relief doesn’t last and the act of harming yourself can get to be a habit. Alicia knows that cutting is not a healthy or acceptable way of dealing with her stress, but she doesn’t know what else to do when things get crazy in her house.
Alicia’s reaction to the stress that surrounds her begins with thinking “This is way too much for me to handle” or “It’s unfair that my life is like this,” and progresses to feeling sad, depressed, angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Those thoughts and emotions lead her to engage in the unhealthy behavior of cutting herself in an effort to find some relief from her situation. Other people might react negatively to stressful situations by overeating, using drugs or alcohol, or lashing out at others, all of which are unhealthy behaviors. Let’s have a closer look at some of those negative behaviors, and then we’ll address some healthy, positive ways to help you deal with stress.
Intentionally injuring oneself through cutting or another action is not an overly common behavior, but, as awareness of such acts has increased, we’ve learned that surprisingly large numbers of teens have tried it. Girls are more likely to cut themselves than boys, although guys are not immune. Both boys and girls also might engage in other methods of self-injury, such as burning themselves with a lighted match or cigarette, punching themselves, or pulling out hair.
While cutting or another form of self injury might make you feel a little better, at least at first, the relief won’t last. Most people who cut don’t really want to hurt themselves seriously, but there have been cases in which teens have been badly injured by accidentally slicing across an artery or cutting deeper than they’d intended to. Using an unclean tool to cut can result in infection.
Cutting or otherwise harming yourself is a serious situation that needs to be addressed. If you know someone who is engaging in this behavior, or if you are, the first step is to confide in a responsible adult who you trust, and ask for help. Self-injury is a treatable condition, but it may require professional help.
Eating in response to an emotion—when you feel sad, angry, happy, or bored, rather than because your stomach is rumbling with hunger—is called emotional eating. It’s a recognized behavior, and one that most people engage in, at least occasionally.
When you’re eating to address an emotion, you typically crave a certain food, such as ice cream or candy, rather than being open to different options. Emotional eating often involves eating more than you know you should, or even more than you really want to eat, because you’re eating to fill a need or find relief. Hunger associated with emotional eating usually comes on suddenly, as opposed to physical hunger, which occurs gradually.
If you recognize that you eat when you’re angry, bored, happy, or sad, try taking another approach by getting some exercise, getting on Facebook and talking to a friend, listening to some good music, or watching a funny TV show or video. Changing your mood often will help you to get over the desire to eat.
While emotional eating is harmless when it occurs only every now and then, continuously using food to find comfort or relief, or to relieve sadness or anger, is an issue that needs to be addressed. Overeating, particularly if you’re not getting lots of exercise, can lead to obesity, a condition related to serious health problems.
Emotional eating also can open the door to eating disorders, which are very serious conditions. About one out of every 100 teenage girls develop anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder characterized by a distorted body image, obsessive fear of gaining weight, and drastically limiting food intake. Anorexia nervosa can cause permanent damage to the heart and other organs; in extreme cases, it results in death.
Bulimia nervosa affects two to three of every 100 teen girls, and is characterized by overeating followed by forced vomiting or purging. If you or someone you know is affected by an eating disorder, the situation needs to be addressed.
When stress occurs over time or repeatedly, some people turn to drugs or alcohol to help them relax and feel better. This, of course, although common, is a very unhealthy means of dealing with stress, and can lead to both short- and long-term problems. Drug and alcohol use can lead to poor school performance, significant health problems, substance dependency, and other negative consequences. Using drugs and alcohol impairs judgment, which can put you at risk for crime, accidents, unsafe sex, and violence. Alcohol-related car accidents are the leading cause of death among teenagers, and every year, more than 100,000 Americans die of causes related to alcohol abuse.
More than half of all high school seniors admit to having used illegal drugs or alcohol, and, nationwide, more than 17 million people suffer from some sort of addiction.
Many teens who experiment with drugs and alcohol as a means of relieving stress think they’ll only do it once, or they’ll only drink one beer, or they won’t ever use any drug except for marijuana. People who are predisposed to addiction, however, can quickly become dependent on drugs and alcohol and find it very difficult, or even impossible, to stop using. When that occurs, lives can be extremely disrupted and relationships destroyed.
Using drugs or alcohol to deal with stress is a very bad idea. If you do not use drugs or alcohol, congratulate yourself and continue to be smart and use good judgment. If you do use drugs or alcohol, or both, get online and read everything you can find about the risks associated. If you’re worried that you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, you need to find someone to talk to about your concerns. You should be particularly aware of a potential problem if there’s a history of problems with drugs and/or alcohol in your family, for addiction tends to involve genetic components. If you can’t talk to a parent for whatever reason, consult with a school nurse, a teacher you trust, a minister or rabbi, or an adult friend who you believe will help you. Getting help with an addiction problem early on can greatly increase the chances of getting you back on track for a happy and productive life. Ignoring a problem with drugs or alcohol now can lead to even bigger problems in the future.
Just as some people eat to relieve stress or fill a void within themselves, other people buy things. This is called compulsive spending, and is a real problem for many people. Researchers estimate that between 2 and 8 percent of Americans are compulsive spenders, some of whom seek treatment for their addictions. Gambling is a form of overspending, and, if it becomes a problem, can involve many of the same characteristics as being addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Compulsive spending is complicated, because, as a society, we’re encouraged to spend and buy things we don’t need. Companies spend millions of dollars in advertising, hoping to convince us to buy their products.
Overspending can lead to serious financial problems, and result in the same feelings of shame and depression as other addictive behaviors, such as drug use. People who are compulsive spenders have a higher rate of suicide than those who are not. If you consistently buy things you know you don’t need, even though you know you should be saving the money you spend for other purposes; or steal money in order to buy things; or feel better about yourself after making some purchases, you might want to talk to a trusted adult about your concerns. You can learn more about compulsive spending at the Debtors Anonymous Web site at www.debtorsanonymous .org.
Some people react to stressful situations by withdrawing or isolating themselves from others. They find it easier to be alone than to have to explain how they’re feeling or deal with others. Some withdraw because they feel sad and don’t want to be around others who seem happy.
Some people retreat into video games or virtual worlds, playing for hours or even days on end. Others might read or sleep excessively. While nearly everyone occasionally feels that they need some time alone, shutting out the world isn’t a healthy reaction to stress because it doesn’t address the issues causing the stress—it merely temporarily removes you from the situation. A better means of coping with stress is to invite a friend to go for a walk and talk about how you’re feeling.
While some people faced with stressful situations withdraw, others become aggressive and act out. They may express anger and frustration by punching, kicking, or yelling. Some drive aggressively or engage in violent behavior. Aggression can be physical or verbal, and often occurs in the form of bullying. Boys are more likely than girls to practice physical aggression such as shouting at someone or hitting, although the incidence of physical aggression among girls has been increasing. Both girls and boys practice indirect aggression, which includes behaviors such as forming cliques, gossiping, and spreading rumors or lies on the Internet.
Aggression also can be directed toward nonhuman targets. Some people take out their aggression on animals, while others may damage property. Aggressive behavior can cause you to become unpopular and alienated from others, and could even put you at risk for legal and other problems. If you frequently engage in aggressive behavior, you may do well to talk to a counselor or mental-health professional.
You’ve probably heard somebody refer to somebody else as a “workaholic.” Just as some people become dependent on alcohol, or shopping, or gambling, others become dependent on working, or, in the case of some teens, doing schoolwork.
People who develop extreme problems with compulsive working sometimes end up losing their families and other important parts of their lives. They find it difficult to think about anything other than work, and become resentful of other areas of life that take them away from work. While work needs to be taken seriously, there’s a saying to remember if you ever feel that work is consuming too much of your time and energy: “Your job will never love you back.”
Many people engage in unhealthy behaviors when they’re overly stressed, but, once you learn to recognize the situations that cause you to feel stressed, you can work to avoid those situations or train yourself to react to them in a more positive manner than by using those behaviors described above. In many cases, you can avoid getting into stressful situations in the first place by getting organized and preparing for what you need to do ahead of time instead of waiting until the last minute. Running around your house looking for your shoes or keys when you know the school bus is coming down the block is a stressful situation, but one that is fully avoidable.
In other instances, it may well be that you can’t avoid situations that upset you and cause you to feel stressed out. You might live in a neighborhood in which violence regularly occurs; or, like Alicia, you might have a sibling who causes a great deal of turmoil within your home; or maybe you’re preparing to audition for that prestigious music school you hope to attend after high school.
You can, however, learn how to respond to those situations with positive behaviors instead of negative ones, and to have some control over the thoughts and emotions you experience when faced with stress. Let’s have a look at some healthy lifestyle options that can help you feel better prepared to deal with stressful situations, and some positive behaviors you can exhibit when faced with those situations.
Sleeping when you’re feeling stressed out can be difficult, and that can result in a catch-22 situation: The more stressed you feel, the harder it can be for you to get to sleep and stay asleep, and the more your sleep is interrupted, the harder it can be to deal with stress.
Getting a good night’s sleep is important, and it has been linked to overall positive health and the ability to better cope and deal with stress. Lack of sleep has been associated with some serious conditions, including lowered immune system functioning; memory impairment; increased risk for anxiety and depression; greater risk for some serious diseases, including heart disease and cancer; weight gain; and increased risk of accidents.
You might notice that it’s harder to pay attention in school when you haven’t gotten enough sleep the night before. You may tend to get irritable with your friends or family when you’re tired; you may feel like you don’t have enough energy to get through the day. You might rely on energy drinks or drinks that contain caffeine to help you get by. Many teens find themselves in a difficult situation when it comes to sleeping, through no fault of their own.
When you were younger, your body was ready for sleep at eight or nine o’clock. Those were natural times for you to go to sleep. As you entered your teen years, however, your circadian rhythm—an internal biological clock that regulates various physical processes—started to shift, and your natural time for falling asleep moved back. So, while you used to be ready to sleep at nine o’clock, you now might not be able to go to sleep until eleven or even midnight.
Schools in some places have shifted starting times so that older students begin later than younger ones, a move that makes sense in helping teens to get more sleep. Most schools, however, still require older students to start earlier than the younger ones; this means that if you have a long bus ride, you might have to get up at 5:30 or 6 A.M. to be ready on time. Such a situation is not conducive to getting the nine or nine and a half hours of sleep recommended for teenagers.
The National Sleep Foundation reported that the average 12th grader sleeps only 7.9 hours a night, more than an hour less that what’s recommended. In one survey, one in four teens report having fallen asleep in class due to lack of sleep the night before.
If you’re a teen who’s having trouble sleeping, or you feel like you don’t get enough sleep, you may have to make some lifestyle changes. Consider the following tips from the National Sleep Foundation:
> Try to sleep on the same schedule every night. This is a difficult task for teens, who tend to try to “catch up” on sleep on mornings they don’t have to get up early for school or other tasks, but going to bed and getting up at roughly the same times every day can help you establish a regular sleeping schedule and improve the sleep you get.
> If you drink coffee or soda or other drinks or foods that contain caffeine, limit them to earlier in the day and avoid them for at least six to eight hours before bedtime. Remember that caffeine is present in hot and iced tea, chocolate, some prescription and nonprescription medicines, and many energy drinks. Check labels if you’re not sure.
> Relax before bedtime by taking a warm bath or shower, or by listening to calming music, reading, or just sitting quietly. A lot of teens are wired to be constantly doing something and find it difficult to just relax, but sleep comes easier when you’re in a relaxed state.
> Get plenty of exercise during the day, but don’t exercise at night because it can make you more alert and wide awake.
> Remove distractions from your sleep area. Again, many teens pretty much live in their rooms, which makes it hard to get away from your stuff. Still, you should shut down computers, turn off the TV, and turn off your cell phone before you go to bed.
> If you can’t fall asleep in the first 20 minutes or so, many experts recommend that you get up and read or engage in some other quiet activity until you feel more tired. Not being able to sleep can frustrate you and make it even more difficult to do so.
If you’re experiencing serious sleep problems you should consult with a doctor, as it could indicate an underlying problem, such as sleep apnea or depression. Don’t take sleep aids without first checking with a doctor.
As with getting enough sleep, eating the proper foods can help you better handle stress. Eating well also keeps you energized, helps to keep your brain functioning properly, minimizes the chance of developing certain illnesses, and helps to regulate mood.
Unfortunately, many people slip up on healthy eating when they’re under stress and fall back on “comfort foods,” which tend to contain a lot of fat and carbohydrates. While eating a big bowl of ice cream or piece of pie might make you feel a little better in the short run, and is perfectly fine every now and then, making it a habit isn’t a good idea. Foods that are loaded with sugar and other refined carbohydrates cause your blood sugar to rise and fall, and that can zap your energy, making it even harder to cope with stress.
The fact is that most people eat a less-healthy diet than they think they do, and teens, who are exposed to fast food, soda, and junk food on a regular basis, are likely to have diets that don’t supply all the nutrients and vitamins that a body needs.
You should strive to eat foods that are low in fat and sugar, including plenty of whole grains, fruits and vegetables. Drink plenty of water and stay away from beverages containing lots of sugar or caffeine. To learn more about getting a proper balance of the foods you need, check out the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Web site, which contains My Pyramid, an interactive tool that contains nutrition information, a food planner, tracker, and other features. You can find it at www.mypyramid.gov.
Eating at regular intervals is a problem for some teens, who often are rushed and on the go. And some teens, especially girls, intentionally skip meals in an effort to consume fewer calories and control their weight. Skipping meals, however, is not a good idea for several reasons, including the fact that you tend to become overly hungry and eventually eat way more than you should in order to satisfy that hunger. It can also cause mood swings and fluctuating energy levels, making it harder to deal with stress.
Some studies have indicated that vitamin B can help to relieve stress. The B vitamins are found in whole grains, dairy products, leafy green vegetables, fish and seafood, meat and poultry, eggs, beans, and peas. You can also ask your parent or doctor about taking a B complex supplement.
You might think that reading or playing video games or texting friends are good methods of relaxing—but the truth is, they’re not. Those sorts of activities certainly can be enjoyable, but the true art of relaxing doesn’t entail electronics or books or being in communication with someone else. It means sitting quietly in a quiet setting and just being with yourself.
Many people, especially teens, who are continuously plugged into music, information, or communications, have never learned how to relax. They simply don’t know how to do it. If that applies to you, you’re going to need to train yourself to relax, because relaxation is extremely important in managing stress. The ability to relax your body automatically reduces the harmful effects of stress. Real relaxation causes your breathing to slow down, which causes your blood pressure to drop and your muscles to relax. You can learn to relax your body by paying attention to how you breathe and your muscles.
Breathing. Everyone breathes, but most people don’t breathe effectively or very well. Learning to control your breathing can greatly help you to learn to relax and better handle stress. When you’re under stress and get tense, your breathing becomes more shallow and only the tops of your lungs fill up with air. That causes your oxygen level to fall, and your body reacts by sending stress chemicals into your bloodstream. That in turn makes you feel even more stressed, and your breathing gets increasingly shallow, causing more stress chemicals to invade your system. Learning to breathe deeply—using the muscle at the bottom of your lungs called your diaphragm—can help you to reduce this vicious circle of shallow breathing and stress. To practice deep breathing, follow these instructions:
Get into a comfortable position, either seated or lying down.Close your eyes.Put your hands on your lap, shrug your shoulders a few times, and relax your arms.Slowly take deep breaths, feeling your lungs expand as you breathe.Breathe rhythmically from your diaphragm, concentrating on the deepness of your breaths. Work your way up to 20 times of slowly breathing in, holding the breath for a second or two, and slowly breathing out.Learning to breathe properly takes some practice, but it’s a great tool for when you’re feeling stressed. Try to take a little time each day to practice, and pay attention to how you feel. Chances are, you’ll feel more focused and relaxed, and your energy level will improve. Once you’ve learned how to do it, you can practice deep breathing almost anywhere.
Relaxing your muscles. Progressive muscle relaxation is a technique to help relieve stress in your body. As with learning how to breathe properly, it takes some practice, but it’s worth the effort. Again, you can sit or lie down, whichever is more comfortable. Just make sure you’re in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. The idea is to contract, or tighten up, a group of muscles, and then to consciously let the muscles relax. You can start at the top of your body or the bottom. If you start at the bottom, you’ll tighten up your foot muscles, and then let them relax as you say the word “relax.” Then you move to your ankle muscles, calf muscles, thigh muscles—all the way up your body to your face and head. Work slowly, and don’t proceed to the next muscle group until you’ve felt the previous muscles relax. When you’ve tightened and relaxed all the muscle groups, take about 10 minutes to simply lie still and enjoy the feeling of being relaxed.
You might find at first that being by yourself in a very quiet setting, without even a TV or music for company, is unsettling and a little uncomfortable. Once you get used to it and learn how to relax your body, however, you’ll find you’re much better able to cope with stress.
Learning to relax your body is a great start, but you’ve got to learn how to relax your mind, as well. Relaxing your mind means that you’ll banish all disturbing, stressful thoughts and replace them with peaceful, soothing images. It’s like transporting from a noisy, crowded hallway in school to a quiet, beautiful spot on a private beach, where you hear only the sound of the water.
A good way to accomplish that goal is to learn how to meditate, which simply means clearing your mind of clutter and move into a relaxed state of calm. Some people, such as certain monks or other religious people, spend their entire lives practicing the art of meditation. Almost anyone, however, can learn simple techniques of meditation that aid in relaxation by slowing heart rate and lowering blood pressure.
The more you practice meditating, the easier it will get and the less time you’ll have to spend doing it. At first though, try to have at least 20 minutes for meditating.
Meditation goes hand-in-hand with the deep breathing and muscle relaxation described above. The first thing you should do is concentrate on your breathing, and then tense and relax your muscles. Once you’ve completed those exercises, sit or lie quietly and, as you breathe out, silently repeat a word or two. This repeated word or phrase, called a mantra, can simply be a sound, such as om, or whatever simple, calm word or words you’d like. Breathe in, and then out again, silently repeating your mantra as you do.
There are many different methods of meditating, but once you learn the trick of relaxing your mind along with your body, you’ll be able to do it anywhere—even before you have to give a big presentation.
Most people know that exercising is good for their bodies. It’s also known to improve brain function, decrease stress and tension, enhance mood, relieve anxiety and help with depression, and provide an overall sense of well-being. It’s not completely understood why exercising is good for your mood, but experts say that it stimulates certain hormones that help to improve mood, gets rid of stress hormones, and increases blood flow to your brain. In other words, exercise is a really good idea. If you’re already into the habit of exercising, give yourself a pat on the back and keep up the good work.
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recommends at least 60 minutes of moderate intensity physical activity on most and preferably all days, for people between the ages of six and 19. Moderate activity includes the following.
> Brisk walking (about three miles per hour)
> Riding a bike (at less than 10 miles an hour)
> Hiking
> Gardening or yard work
> Dancing
> Playing doubles tennis
> Jumping on a trampoline
> Rollerblading at a moderate pace or skateboarding
> Playing ping-pong
> Yoga
If you’re already getting lots of moderate intensity physical activity and you want to add some more demanding forms, vigorous activity includes those listed below:
> Playing competitive sports such as soccer, basketball, or field hockey
> Running or jogging (five miles per hour)
> Riding a bike (at more than 10 miles per hour)
> Swimming laps
> Very fast walking (more than four miles per hour)
> Aerobics
> Playing singles tennis
> Karate or judo
> Circuit weight training
> Vigorous rollerblading
Sixty minutes of exercise almost every day might seem like an impossible task, but remember that it doesn’t have to be done all at once. You can space out physical activity throughout the day by walking the dog at a brisk pace for 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes at night, jumping rope for 10 minutes when you get home from school, and pulling weeds for 10 minutes after dinner.
If those activities don’t work for you, identify ones that do. Many communities offer free swimming in a school or community center, or your school may have a weight room you can use after classes or at night. Even running up and down the steps in your house for 10 minutes is a good form of exercise. If you can’t put in 60 minutes a day, try for 40, or even 30. Establishing a pattern of getting some exercise every day, however you get it, can lead to big improvements in your overall health and help you to better manage stress.
Did you ever have a problem that was really stressing you out until you poured out your heart to a friend, and all of a sudden the problem didn’t seem so big anymore? Talking over a situation that’s causing you stress is beneficial because it helps to clarify the situation and put it into perspective, and allows you the opportunity to receive feedback and advice.
Something that seems like a big deal in your head often doesn’t seem so big once it’s been verbalized. You might find out that your friend had a very similar situation and learn how she handled it. Just the fact that you have a friend with whom you can share a problem is comforting and reassuring in that you don’t have to worry alone.
While your friends can seem like the most important part of your life, remember that in some cases, it’s best to approach a trusted adult. If you have a problem that’s very serious, such as one that involves a legal issue, a medical condition, drug or alcohol abuse, or thoughts of harming yourself, you’ll need the advice and help of an adult.
Listening to others also can help with your stress levels. People who reach out and make connections with others typically enjoy better moods and greater levels of happiness than those who don’t.
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