How Stress Affects You Emotionally

Just as your body responds physically to stress, it also responds emotionally. When confronted with a stressful situation you might feel anxious, or panicky, or filled with dread. You may even feel confused, or like you can’t deal with what’s going on. Some people withdraw when facing a stressful situation, while others act out. An emotional response to stress, also called a psychological response, can be immediate and very strong, just as a physical response can be. Madison was thrilled when she was named head twirler of her high school’s band front. She soon found out, however, that performing in that role made her incredibly nervous and stressed out. In addition to physical symptoms like excessive sweating, a pounding heart, and feeling sick to her stomach, she had strong emotional symptoms of anxiety and fear. She reacted both physically and emotionally to the stress that resulted from performing in front of a crowd of people.

And, just as long-term or chronic stress can cause physical prob­lems, emotional problems can result as well, and can continue long after the source of the stress has stopped.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) lists emo­tional responses that commonly occur following a traumatic or other­wise extremely stressful event. The responses include anxiety, guilt, grief, denial, severe panic, fear, anger or irritability, loss of emotional control, depression, sense of failure, feeling overwhelmed, and blam­ing others or oneself.

Let’s look at some of these emotional responses to stress and how they can affect not only the person experiencing the stress, but family and friends as well.

Fear and anxiety are very common and real reactions to stress. The two are closely related and often occur together. Consider the follow­ing scenario: Rob and his buddy Zack are driving back from a base­ball game in a large city about an hour from their homes. It’s dark, and they’re not very familiar with the area, so they miss the turn to get back onto the expressway out of the city and end up in a bad part of town. They know that this area is known for gangs and violence, and they are understandably scared. Scared turns into really scared, even terrified, when they stop at a red light and three guys start walk­ing quickly toward their car, one of them carrying what appears to be a crowbar.

At this point, Rob and Zack are experiencing both physical and emotional reactions to their situation. The instinctual fear they feel invokes the fight-or-flight reaction that you read about earlier. And, that reaction is coupled by intense emotional responses of anxi­ety and trepidation. Both their physical and emotional reactions are perfectly normal and warranted by their circumstances.

Once they escape from immediate danger by pulling away from the light and getting themselves back on track and on the way home, they begin to relax. Their stress lessens and their anxiety subsides.

Rob moves on, and a few days later is joking and laughing about the incident. Zack, however, can’t get over the feeling that something bad is going to happen. He’s afraid he’s going to get lost again, and is reluctant to drive anywhere not completely familiar to him. He sees people who remind him of the men who approached his car and can feel himself getting anxious and afraid. His head pounds, he breaks out in a sweat, waves of fear wash over him, and he feels like he’s going to completely lose control. His stress is compounded by the fact that Rob jokes about the incident and tells Zack that he’s got to get over it and quit acting like such a wimp.

Zack is no longer experiencing instinctual fear, because there is no real and present danger. He is, however, experiencing a lot of stress in the form of anxiety.

One of the problems with anxiety is that it tends to feed on itself. When Zack is reminded of that night, he experiences great anxiety, to the point of feeling like he’s losing control. Knowing that he’s likely to experience that feeling the next time he’s reminded of the incident makes him even more anxious, because he worries about what he might do or how he will react.

Several months later, Zack finally talks to his mother about what happened and how he’s feeling, and his mom, who’s noticed that Zack has been upset and anxious, makes an appointment for him to see a counselor. Now Zack has been diagnosed with an anxiety dis­order, and possible post-traumatic stress disorder.

 

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that sometimes occurs following a traumatic experience, such as a serious car accident, abuse, natural disaster, war, an abduction, or assault. Although it’s not a normal reaction, any teen could experience this condition following a very traumatic event. It’s not fully understood why some people experience PTSD while others do not.

It’s believed that, while trauma triggers the anxiety disorder, genet­ics helps to determine why only certain people will experience PTSD. In the situation described above, for instance, Zack and Rob experi­enced the same trauma, but Ron easily recovered from it while Zack did not.

There are three main symptoms that indicate PTSD:

> Flashbacks or nightmares in which you relive the traumatic event

> A constant or recurring feeling of emotional numbness

> A need to avoid people, places, or events associated with the trauma

While those are considered common symptoms, not everyone who has PTSD will experience them or react to their experience in the same way. Younger children tend to seek comfort from fam­ily members, and may regress in development or become afraid of situations that have nothing to do with the traumatic event they’ve experienced. Teens are more likely to experience these symptoms, and can experience a variety of reactions, including anxiety, depres­sion, anger, feelings of isolation, and self-destructive behaviors. They may have flashbacks and nightmares in which they relive the trauma, and become withdrawn and unable to enjoy every day activities.

Anniversaries of the traumatic event can trigger great anxiety, as can anything that reminds them of the event.

Symptoms of PTSD usually begin to appear within three months of the traumatic experience, and last for at least a month. In rare cases, however, PTSD won’t become apparent until years after the experience.

PTSD may improve on its own over time, but many people suf­fering from it will continue to have problems for a long time. Unfor­tunately, PTSD can even become a chronic condition. If you’ve experienced a traumatic event, you can probably expect that things will be difficult for a while. Try not to be overly hard on yourself by thinking that you should be able to shake off your feelings or “snap out” of a mood. Be sure that you take care of yourself by eating regu­lar, healthy meals, getting enough sleep, and staying in touch with family and friends. Chances are, you’ll gradually start to feel better and more like your old self.

If you think you may have PTSD, it’s important to ask a trusted adult for help. Tell the person how you’re feeling, and why you think you might be experiencing PTSD. The disorder is easier to treat if it’s recognized early.

PTSD often can be treated effectively with a combination of medi­cations and psychotherapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy, which involves working with both thoughts and behaviors. Therapy typically would begin with having the teen talk about the traumatic event. The therapist may offer some assertiveness training and relax­ation techniques to help the teen sort out confusing thoughts about the event and to better manage anxiety. PTSD can be a serious prob­lem, but many teens have been successfully treated for it.

Sarah was shocked when her parents sat her and her brother down one night and told them they were going to get divorced. She knew that things hadn’t been great between them for a while, but her dad had been working lots of nights and wasn’t around much during the week. When he was home on weekends, she usually was out with her friends, so she hadn’t experienced many of their conversations, fights, or long periods of silence.

While Sarah’s initial reaction to her parents’ announcement was intense sadness, she soon became angry—and she remained angry for months. Whenever she thought about the divorce, she felt furious.

She stopped talking to both of her parents, blaming them for ruining her life. She slammed doors shut as she came in and out of the house, and refused to clean up after herself or follow other house rules. She acted out by spending time with a group of classmates who were into smoking and drinking, staying out late, and not letting her parents know where she was.

Sarah’s intense anger eventually lessened, and her mother con­vinced her to enter counseling, which she did. In time, Sarah under­stood that her behavior, although understandable, had not been productive, and she started working to make the unfortunate situation of her parents’ divorce as tolerable as it could be.

Anger and irritability are common emotional reactions to stress. Some people, like Sarah, act on their anger, while others become withdrawn and quiet. Sometimes a person may not even realize that she’s very angry until that anger suddenly and unexpectedly surfaces.

While Sarah acted on her anger, her brother, Stephen, reacted by becoming very quiet and withdrawn. He’d go directly to his room when he came into the house, declining to eat dinner with Sarah and their mom. He stopped participating in activities he used to enjoy, preferring to spend time by himself, playing video games or surfing the Internet. He stopped doing his homework and his grades dropped dramatically. His friends tried to convince him to come out and do something with them, but Stephen made excuses and stayed in his room. In time, Stephen did come out of his room, and he too entered counseling.

Both Stephen and his sister Sarah were angry about the situation, but their responses to their anger were very different. As they became more accustomed to their new situation and used to the idea of the divorce, their anger subsided and they were able to resume their nor­mal behavior.

While Sarah’s aggression was a means of expressing her anger, aggression sometimes occurs for other reasons. Scientists think there is a genetic link to aggression. Some researchers have cited social causes, such as watching a lot of violent movies or playing violent video games, but that theory is disputed. Some medications can cause aggressive behavior, as can certain medical conditions.

There also are a variety of explanations for withdrawn behavior, including certain psychiatric conditions, depression, extreme shyness, physical illness, certain medications, behavioral problems, and emo­tional abuse.

Brittany lives with a father who sets impossibly high standards for his children and is emotionally abusive when they don’t live up to those standards. He is a very successful businessperson and highly respected for the community and humanitarian work he does, but he has caused a lot of damage to his kids.

Brittany is smart and works hard in school. Because she is 16, however, she obviously doesn’t have the business or life experiences of her father. When Brittany doesn’t know how to handle a particu­lar situation or doesn’t know the answer to a question, her father becomes enraged, telling her in a variety of ways that she’s stupid. She’s a failure who doesn’t know anything or can’t do anything right, he says. Brittany used to try to seek his advice on different matters, but there’s no way she’d ask him anything now, because—accord­ing to him—she’s supposed to already know everything. Brittany deals with her dad by ignoring him as much as possible, but, after hearing it so many times from her father, Brittany has a hard time thinking of herself as anything but a stupid failure. She’s convinced that she can’t do anything right, that she doesn’t know anything, and she won’t succeed in life because she doesn’t have the neces­sary skills or abilities. She’s become extremely depressed as a result of these feelings, and recently approached her mother, who set up an appointment for Brittany to get some professional help. As with cases of PTSD, cognitive-behavioral therapy is the most effective approach to treating Brittany’s sense of failure and depression.

Jack, 15, is a perfectionist. He also suffers from depression, brought on by the stress and frustration that results from his feeling that no matter what he does, it, or he, is never good enough. It doesn’t matter to him that he made the varsity golf team as a freshman; he believes he should have been the top player instead of number three. It doesn’t matter that he’s in the top 10 percent of his class academically; he thinks he should be the highest-ranked student. Jack often feels angry at himself, or that he doesn’t like him­self, because he can’t meet the high expectations he’s placed on himself.

His parents want Jack to do well, but they’re very worried that he’s so unhappy, and they notice that he’s beginning to spend more time in his room and seems to be experiencing problems sleeping.

Knowing that Jack may have inherited certain genes that make him vulnerable to depression, and that he experiences a tremendous amount of stress because of his perfectionist tendencies, they decide to have Jack undergo a psychiatric evaluation, which confirms the depression.

Stress affects the body’s hormone levels, and this, in a susceptible person, can lead to depression. It could be that, like Jack, you’re putting too much pressure on yourself, or, like Brittany, someone else is placing unrealistic expectations on you. All types of stress can contribute to the development of depression, including the loss of a loved one; the breakup of a relationship; sexual, physical, or emo­tional abuse; severe school-related pressure, or other pressures; or a troubled family situation.

While stress certainly plays a role in depression, most experts agree that major depression is caused by a combination of brain chemistry, genetics, and your emotional environment. Other factors that can contribute to depression include illness, diet, medications, and sub­stance abuse.

Depression is common, and can be successfully treated. The first step in getting better is to get help, so if you feel that you may be suf­fering from depression, don’t hesitate to ask for help. As with many other problems, depression is easier to treat when it’s diagnosed early.

After the Twin Towers collapsed in New York City on September 11, 2001, survivors were found wandering about in apparent shock, confused and disoriented. Some could not remember where they lived, or where they had come from. Others could not even tell res­cue workers their names. These emotions are common in the wake of extremely traumatic events—but they also can occur in less dra­matic situations, such as the situation described below.

When Shakia suddenly broke up with Brendon after four years of dating, Brendon didn’t know what to think or to do. For days he wandered about, distracted and disoriented. He couldn’t con­centrate. He couldn’t sleep. He’d find himself standing in the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror and hardly recognizing who he was. He had no interest in his schoolwork, his friends, or his family. He simply couldn’t get his head around the fact that his relationship with Shakia was over.

In time, Brendon accepted that he and Shakia were through and he moved on, once again able to enjoy his family, friends, and activities.

While confusion and disorientation are common emotional responses to extreme stress, they also can be caused by certain medi­cal or psychological conditions, excessive alcohol or drug use, side effects of certain prescription drugs, and for other reasons.

The emotional responses to stress described above are normal and common; they usually lessen over time and eventually disappear. Sometimes, however, emotional effects do not disappear on their own.

Someone who has been physically or sexually abused, for instance, may continue to experience emotional effects from the abuse, even after the abuser has been put in jail, or moved away, or died. People who live through disasters such as floods or hur­ricanes, who are involved either as civilians or soldiers in wars, or who witness or are victims of violence sometimes experience the emotional effects for many years in the form of post-traumatic stress disorder or another anxiety disorder. Even an event such as a car accident or being attacked by a dog can result in lasting emo­tional effects.

Just as experiencing the effects of stress on a constant basis or over a long period of time can affect your physical health, long-term exposure to the emotional effects of stress can negatively affect your mental health. Learning how to deal with the effects of stress and to manage your stress and your stressors is very important in maintaining both physical and emotional health.

> Emotional response to stress can be immediate and very strong.

> Common emotional responses to stress include fear and anxiety, anger and irritability, depression, a sense of fail­ure, aggression or withdrawn behavior, and confusion and disorientation.

> People experience different emotional responses to stress and will behave differently as a result.

> Just as long-term or chronic stress can cause physical prob­lems, emotional problems can result as well, and can continue long after the source of the stress has stopped, sometimes in the form of post-traumatic stress disorder.

> Learning to manage your responses to stress is important for your long-term health.